While here at Supercamp, I made a friend who is fairly recently married. The advice that she gave me was to really take the time to enjoy the engagement period, because it's a very special time in your relationship that is unlike both dating and being married. The first time that she said it, I was not sure exactly what she was talking about. I mean, we're planning a wedding. That's different. We're planning on moving in together. That's different, too. But what is this really special time she is talking about?
It is now several weeks later, and after having been away from Joe for so long now and having had time to really think about what she said, I have come to realize how special this time really does feel for me.
Last summer, Joe and I were apart the whole summer. I missed him horribly, but I was busy, so even though it was really rough, I was able to cope. It was an intense feeling of missing him, but the feeling this summer is different. It's kind of hard to explain. It's not necessarily that I miss him more, I just miss him differently. It's like a feeling that I'm constantly forgetting something, sort of. Like a nagging feeling that I'm just not completely fulfilled or present at any moment. I don't know if that makes sense. It's hard to explain, because it's more of a subconscious feeling than a conscious feeling. It's just different, like I said.
The other thing is how special it is to plan and imagine our lives together. We've been together a long time, so we've talked about the future in a hypothetical way and made "plans." Now we are actually making plans. We have registered for wedding gifts that will become our things that we use together every day. We are looking for things to decorate the apartment and discussing the things we'll do together regularly when we live together. We're making plans for where we will live and where we will visit. It's a very exciting time where there are so many possibilities for our futures together.
Another major difference is the mindset change from "me" to "we." People have asked me if I'm coming back to Supercamp or if I might like to stay involved in the company in the future. I can't really say what I'll be doing because now I have to consider that my decisions aren't just for me. When we were just dating, it was less of a big deal to leave for a few weeks to do a camp, but that won't really be true once we're married. I have to take into consideration that I am not just one person anymore, I am two. Changing that mindset is somewhat difficult at times. For example, we'll be getting married right before Christmas. It's important to Joe that we spend Christmas together as a family, which looks like just the two of us at this point. I'm now shifting into thinking of Joe as my family. That means that he will become my first go-to, my emergency contact, my person. I have been so used to that being my mom or both my parents that it is a definite mindset shift.
So that's what is different from dating that I have noticed so far. We'll see what else comes up. I can definitely say that my friend was right, though. This time of engagement is very special. :)
TO BE CONTINUED IN THE FUTURE (maybe)
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