Why Joe and I will never own a bakery

About a month ago, I asked Joe if he would make brownies for a party we were going to while I got ready. He begrudgingly agreed to make them and I went to my room to get ready. Once I was ready, I came out to cut the brownies and found that they looked really... strange. I wish I had taken a picture because it's hard to explain what they looked like, but they were very crumbly and dry looking. I asked Joe if he had put water in them and he said, "Brittany, you don't put water in brownies."

Uh oh.

The brownies tasted horrible and looked even worse so I opted to take strawberries for a desert instead. Later, when I went to rinse the pan the brownies were in, it came out in a solid block. Yuck. Needless to say, I have been giving Joe crap for the past month about his inability to make the easiest desert on the planet and accusing him of this:

Karma can be a pain.

This weekend I decided to make brownies because they are delicious. On my first attempt, I realized I didn't have any eggs. No big deal because we ended up getting ice cream that night anyway.

Two days later, after purchasing some eggs, I decided that I was for real going to make brownies. I got out my eggs and water, laughing to myself because of course I wouldn't forget the water like Joe had. After I got out all of my supplies, I opened the bag of brownie mix... well, I tried to. Those bags are so hard to open! If I were smart, I would buy some kitchen shears, but apparently I'm not. So of course, I pulled as hard as I could with both hands and the brownie mix exploded all over me, the stove and floor. RUDE. (Unfortunately I do not have a picture of this, as it was before I decided to start blogging.)

So there I stood, with brownie mix everywhere, confused and sad because I really wanted brownies. There was still about 3/4 of the bag left, but that's 1/4 less brownies! I shouted for Joe, "Joe... something bad happened." He didn't hear me. So I attempted to shovel some of the mix back into the bag from the stove before heading into the other room and repeated that something bad had happened. Joe followed me into the kitchen and started laughing, asking why on earth I would explode a brown mix. OBVIOUSLY I DIDN'T MEAN TO.

Anyway, he graciously helped me clean it up and only made fun of me a little bit. We laughed about how neither of us can manage to make the easiest desert in the world.

But it's not over. I still made the brownies. As I was stirring them, I realized the consistency was a little strange... That's right. I forgot the oil. I hate myself

Anyway, I added the oil and put them in the pan. They never cooked all the way through because there wasn't enough mix but I think they still tasted delicious because brownies are delicious.

The moral of the story is, Joe and I are not master bakers. We'll stick to buying our deserts from U Knead Sweets downtown.

Happy Wednesday.